Thirty Years of Bliss, and Three Words of Wisdom

By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

Thirty years – then…

Nearly 11,000 days or 360 months.  That’s how long I’ve been married to Mr. Kaminski this week.  Any way you look at it, that’s a minute – and yes, it’s gone by in a flash.

This passing of time thing is a slippery slope.  Last month, we were married.  Last week we brought Kassidi home from the hospital, and just yesterday, we brought Kolton home.  And I will absolutely swear to all of those dates, because that’s exactly how it seems.

Some friends have posed the query this week, “What’s the secret to being happily married for 30 years?”  The word “secret” holds all the answers for me.  As the managing partner of the Kaminski clan, all households and my business, I tend to handle things.  It’s just my nature.  I typically don’t involve Mr. Kaminski unless it’s a Mach ten situation; I merely inform of the solution once handled. I’ve learned over the past 30 years I can do just about anything, and do it well enough to put out the fire. It works, until it doesn’t, and when it doesn’t, I’m typically the blazing inferno.  So, naturally I passed on the inquiry to Mr. Kaminski for his input.

…and now.

“Honey, inquiring minds want to know.  What’s the secret to being happily married for 30 years?” I asked.

He didn’t miss a beat.  “You being happy,” was his immediate response with that boyish grin of his.

“That’s all you got – three words?” I inquired, not that I felt it was a bad or even untrue response – just to clarify.

“Always being willing to compromise and say you’re sorry,” was his second attempt.

“Let’s go with number one and call it done,” I quipped, to zero additional input from Mr. Kaminski, because his initial response made me happy.  See how that works?

Apparently, pearls are the traditional gift for the 30th anniversary – I looked it up – which totally makes sense.  You see, oysters create pearls in response to an irritant entering its shell.  This irritation, which is often an invading worm or grain of sand, gets coated with a calcium carbonate or nacre from the oyster, because the invader has entered into unchartered waters.  It’s irritating initially to the oyster.  So, to minimize the irritation, the oyster coats it with nacre and – voila!  A thing of beauty is created.

I don’t know if I’m the worm or the sand, but Mr. Kaminski is definitely the oyster.  And if that isn’t the perfect analogy for a 30-year marriage, I don’t know what is.  See y’all next week – on the porch!

Patti Parish-Kaminski

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