Doughnut Danger

By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

“The Cher Show,” voting and doughnuts – all in 24 hours. Winning!

Doughnuts are my jam.  They are my kryptonite as I do not have the strength to resist them, and then, I feel really bad after my indulgence.  That’s likely because I am completely incapable of consuming only one single doughnut.  It’s doughnut danger.  It’s a problem.

I have been known to take a bite out of nearly every dang doughnut in a box of a dozen – for quality control purposes – of course.  Then I’ll double back and eat my favs.  I find the process both effective and thorough.

Within half an hour, the sugar rush hits, and I’m off to the races – that is until the sugar crash occurs, and I’m crawling to the finish line.  It happens without fail, but I am completely incapable of learning that lesson, so I forge ahead EVERY SINGLE TIME.  The doughnut danger is real.

Funny thing is I cannot – and will not – devour doughnuts in the morning.  This actually aligns with my steadfast devotion to not being a morning person.  I don’t really like anything in the morning, except Diet Coke, which gets me through to the noon hour to when I can function like a human and leave the grizzly bear behind.

So, imagine my delight when I went to vote this week – bright and early at 1 pm – and ran smack dab into my devilish delight.  It was a slow day at the polls – really slow according to the three sweet ladies who had been working there all day – so we naturally struck up a conversation.  Most of it had to do with me sporting a Cher t-shirt as I had gone to see “The Cher Show” with the extended Marcell clan and friends the day before.  The ladies wanted to hear all about it – being bored and all – so I obliged.  I’m all about spreading the Cher sunshine.

We had a quick girls’ chat, and I was on my way with my “I Voted Today” sticker firmly affixed to my Cher t-shirt.  As I was walking out, I passed a table filled with snacks – I assumed for the volunteers.  And right there smack dab in the middle of the table was a humungous box filled with – you guessed it – doughnuts.

I quickly retraced my steps back to my new friends, and said, “So if you vote, do you get a doughnut as a prize?”  My girls assured me that, indeed, I was eligible for the decadent delight as I had done my civic duty and did it well.  I know this because my new friends told me so.

I left the poll, doughnut in hand, with a big smile on my face – along with some chocolate.  Doughnut diving is typically a messy business.  Who knew that doing my civic duty would result in receiving a real live chocolate doughnut?  Think I’ll go back tomorrow and vote again.  See y’all next week – on the porch!

Patti Parish-Kaminski

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