By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher
Be careful with your porch talk – they’re listening and watching!
Sometimes in my infinite wisdom I make choices that absolutely backfire on me. Case and point: the doorbell dilemma – a situation that literally occurred on my porch.
You see, we do not have a doorbell installed at our front door. Now I didn’t think too much about it when we bought the house, but after occupying it for a few months, I noticed the missing accoutrement. Folks would come to my door, knock, and I would be none the wiser. I didn’t hear the faint rap, rap, rapping at my chamber door. I would then hear my phone blowing up with an irritated visitor informing me they were on my porch. Unfortunately, it would typically take a couple of calls, because I’m not keen on keeping my phone on my person when I’m at home. Sometimes, the aggrieved guest would simply go away leaving me wondering why they weren’t here at the appointed time.
It was downright aggravating – all around. So, to solve this ding dong dilemma, I decided to purchase a doorbell. Now I have no idea where a body would actually purchase a doorbell. Neiman’s doesn’t carry them, so I went to my go to for all things unknown: Amazon. I believe I could absolutely run the world solely with Amazon purchases.
I ran across the Ring doorbell, which absolutely rang a bell with me. It looked cool. You could actually hear AND see who was at your door via some magic that happened on your phone. And it was Amazon Prime Day, so it was 50% off. Winning!
Problem solved with the order, and my ringing, singing savior arrived. I promptly handed the device to Mr. Kaminski for installation and such. I try not to get bogged down in the minutia. I tend to be in charge of procurement. I had done my job.
After charging, reading, programming and such, Mr. Kaminski installed the device early one morning and informed me the deed was done. I was very proud of my problem-solving ability.
Late that night Mr. Kaminski called me. “How was your happy hour on the porch?”
“Great,” I replied. “How did you know we were on the porch?”
“I was watching you in the doorbell.”
What? My attempt at solving this situation turned out to literally be a spy Ring and not a doorbell Ring?
Later that night a storm came through, and I went out on the porch for a bit. Apparently, I unknowingly scowled at the reconnaissance Ring. I know this because my phone rang immediately.
“Why are you making such an ugly face in the doorbell?” Mr. Kaminski asked, way too gleefully.
“Because I don’t like big brother watching my every move. Are you watching your phone like it’s C-SPAN?”
Mr. Kaminski commenced to giggling. He was quite pleased with himself.
“When are you coming home?” he queried.
“Do you miss me?” I responded.
“Of course!” he said enthusiastically.
“I’ll ring the doorbell. You’ll see me.” And that was that. Guess what happens on the porch doesn’t stay on the porch after all. See y’all next week – on the porch!
Patti Parish-Kaminski
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