By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher
Me NOT flying coach and trying to make earrings out of my Tito’s bottles. I’m all about recycling!
After spending nearly six decades on this planet, there are just some things I absolutely will not do. There’s a lot of “been there, done that,” and frankly, I’m just not having it. And, at this point, there’s really no use trying to change my mind. It’s set in stone, and if you happen to present a cogent argument trying to persuade me otherwise, likely I’ll forget what we were talking about before you’ve finished. So basically, it’s a moot point.
For now, here are the top ten things I absolutely will not do. Take them as suggestions, well thought out, experienced-based suggestions, life advice if you will. They’re my words to live by – or maybe to NOT live by – this week. Stay tuned. I feel the list is ever-expanding.
At this stage of the game, I absolutely will not even consider…
- Wearing white shoes. I am not two-years-old. The exception is, of course, tennis shoes, designer preferably. I will rock a cute pair of Golden Goose, Versaces or Nikes. I can be convinced to don these on occasion.
- Drinking anything blue. What goes in blue, comes back out blue – typically violently.
- Flying more than four hours coach. After four hours in one position, nothing on me works anymore.
- Trying to kick my Diet Coke habit. At this point, what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. And I’m strong, really strong. Just ask Mr. Kaminski.
- Pumping, pushing, changing, washing, vacuuming – virtually anything to do with fleet maintenance. I went through the car wash just last week with Babs. I couldn’t get her in neutral. She’s just not a neutral girl. I appreciate that. The sweet attendant had to intervene. I’m done with anything vehicle related other than driving and riding.
- Being sweet to undeserving morons who exhibit unkind, uncouth and overall nasty behavior. I know I’m supposed to kill them with kindness. I’d rather not participate as it will likely end up with me catching an assault charge.
- Continuing to be someone’s doormat. I’ll give you three tries – strike one, strike two, strike three you are out.
- Paying for shipping. I just won’t – don’t care what it is or where it came from.
- Drinking nasty wine. ‘Nuff said.
- Missing a University of Texas football game. Don’t call me; I won’t answer. And for heaven’s sake, don’t come by. I cannot engage. And if we are not successful, do not engage for at least 48 hours.
Since I won’t participate in these activities, I’ll leave you with something I totally believe in participating in. Being kind. Being fabulous. Remembering to sparkle. See y’all next week – on the porch!
Patti Parish-Kaminski
Follow Patti Parish-Kaminski on Facebook at www.facebook.com/OnThePorchWithPatti/ and on Instagram at instagram.com/ontheporchwithpatti/.
