By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher
“Basic.” Yep, Southwest Airlines actually deemed me “basic.”
On a recent mad dash to the airport in keeping with the “Birthday Quarter” shenanigans, I arrived just in time for my flight – thank you Shay! – only to discover that Southwest Airlines had profiled me. They deemed me as “basic” per the boarding pass that the agent kindly printed for me. Yep, this is not a typo. It said “basic.”
I stared at the moniker in disbelief and politely inquired to the lady in line behind me if my eyes were deceiving me.
“Oh, yes, that’s what is says,” she confirmed. And after scanning me head to toe and commenting on my gorgeous Tiffany cuff, she definitively declared, “You clearly aren’t basic.” I like making new friends.
At this point I was only two days into my “Birthday Quarter,” so this was not okay. This was a time of celebration, not name-calling.
While on the tarmac waiting for take-off, I looked up the CEO of Southwest Airlines. Herb Kelleher passed, of course, so I was on the hunt for the new Herb. I knew the real Herb would never define me as “basic.” I mean this is the man who said, ““One piece of advice that always stuck in my mind is that people should be respected and trusted as people, not because of their position or title.”
I have no position, no title, well, other than Momma or Ms. Patti. I would like to say those two titles do not demand respect, but we’re friends, porch sitters, so I’m not about to lie to you.
I discovered Bob Jordan is the new Herb. Now Bob looked like a really nice guy based on the information I found – experienced, committed, evolutionary. And then I saw it. He’s an Aggie. Two degrees from Texas A & M, which, of course, makes him smart but not necessarily – let’s go with polished. He likely doesn’t even realize that referring to his customers as “basic” can absolutely hurt a girl’s feelings.
Let’s just say he does now. After penning a strongly worded email regarding the power and use of language, I was schooled on Southwest culture.
Apparently on a Southwest flight, “basic” refers to the most affordable fare. It’s a no-frills option that is the lowest price point. It’s less flexible, in that you can’t change it. I get that – having different levels of service. My response to this explanation was selecting better language to convey levels of service. My suggestion to Bob – or whoever really responded – was the following: Let’s try silver, gold and platinum. That way everybody feels shiny and valued.
I did not receive a follow up reply. I’m thinking I stumped the Southwest AI.
Herb also said, “I’ve found that many of the greatest ideas surface in bars because that’s where many people cultivate inspiration.” Upon landing, I took Herb’s advice and headed to the dimly lit, beautifully decorated Randolph’s at the emblematic Warwick Hotel in Manhattan. After all, if it’s good enough for Herb, it’s good enough for me. See y’all next week – on the porch!
Patti Parish-Kaminski
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